Heads Up.

I am in a sullen mood.

This is an official statement. I don't mean to be obnoxious about it, just that I don't want to repeat the same stuff over and over again. I would make this statement in person, but sadly I have trouble articulating my feelings when I am angry. I also cry when I am angry. And frustrated. Okay moving along.

I've been bullied since I was in kindergarten. No kidding.

Okay I want to read New Moon's outtakes so I'll keep this short. Please, stop calling me "lembab". Just stop. I am sure most of the time I can be absent-minded and blurr, but that's mainly because I may be thinking of something else. Thinking about what, you wonder? I may have been thinking about Ayie, or my baby Ajad, or even Edward and Bella Cullen. My point is, if you have something to say to me, address me by my name or Roy, and state your business.

I may be slow to understand a joke or whatever, but that is me. You want to be my friend? Put up with it. I'm not saying that I won't try to be quicker to catch up on things, but if you want to be my friend, you accept this fact.

Don't call me "lembab", don't call me "bodoh". I am not a genius. Never said I was, but at least I am on par with my peers. Have some respect for other people. Be civilised. Be tactful. Be nice.

Being nice can be translated into having respect for other people, and thus, behaving accordingly. Treating people with respect would mean (and I take this for granted) that you will be treated with respect, in return. Why on earth wouldn't you do the same for me? You think you can take me for granted because I'm already your bud, your best bud?

No no no, I am not being conceited. I treat people with respect, when I'm capable. I listen to the very best of my ability, I symphatise. I help when I can. I smile when I am able. I try my very best to reign in my anger and frustration, until sometimes you won't be able to see that I'm way livid. Yes, I pretend. I don't want to hurt your feelings, so I pretend. But do you give a damn about my feelings? No, you fucking don't. I am not a toy.

So people, new year, new beginning, new ways. From now on, I don't give a damn if your feelings are hurt if I ignore you. That crystal clear? I am not totally heartless, maybe akan tak sampai hati untuk ignore lama-lama. But I don't want to be a much-abused friend anymore. I'm sick of this unfair treatment, sick of it. Oh you thought I liked being constantly teased and bullied and jeered at and abused (verbally)? No I didn't, have some common sense. I wanted you to come to your own senses, realize that nobody likes to be treated like I have been. I didn't want to come right out and say to your face that I hate this, because you would say that I'm being emo and all. Chill la babe, kitorang main-main je. We are nearly adults, so lets behave like proper adults. Lets be mature. Lets grow up. I am sounding much cliched.

I don't mind a joke or two or three, but only if it's done in good humour. Good-naturedly. Stop being mean, stop being cruel. If you can't, then get out of my life and stop claiming to be my friend.

Haha my rant is over now, thank you very much.