A Little Sick..

..of people. Of myself. No matter. These periods of intolerance don't usually last long, and I enjoy being a little hermit.

I know I said that I won't touch non-educational books anymore, at least until SPM wraps up, but how do you get over a passion? How do you get over a way of life? How do you get over the perfect means of escape when you want to get lost in somebody's story and forget your own?

These days I can't even come into spitting distance of a book. I'd be looking at it curiously, a few steps closer at a time, ask the owner permission to rifle through the pages, the desire to read barely suppressed, the owner generously offering to lend, unconscious of the fact that the act is quite detrimental to my studies, me losing my head and self-control completely and gleefully accepting the offer, my school books lay collecting dust, abandoned in a corner, me staying up til the wee hours to get to the ending, impatient to cry over someone else's tragedies, could not give a rat's ass about homework when lost in the pages, feeling extremely guilty the day after, this is routine.

But at least one venue is cut off from providing me books. The library. The state library. To my utter horror, I've had to return 2 books I borrowed 5 days late. I really didn't remember, the books were out of sight (up on a shelf) and so out of mind. My little fantasy of becoming the library's best member (or something of the sort) in pieces! No I'm not joking! I am now a blacklisted member because I have yet to pay the fine for late returns. Honestly, I had the money ready, it's just that I could not bring myself to notify the librarian that I was late. I just couldn't. Oh, the shame..

School due in half an hour. Until later.