Murder, The Crime of Passion.

It's been one of those days. When I am eternally pissed, gorges on food, refrains from making too much conversation, et cetera.. Oh, looks like I've got my tenses wrong. :-)

The BM seminar was.. enlightening? Except for the Komsas part. My mum's gonna call up the people in charge of it and complain about penceramah nombor dua, saya happy. :-)

I am usually.. tolerant. Liberal. Open-minded. I try. But I do have my stand on some issues. I'm going to tell you what the guy did, I'm gonna tell you now.

He is a "Guru Cemerlang", hailing from a Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Agama. Dah telan fakta itu? Okay. The time allocated for him was around 2 hours. For him to heap on us tips, techniques and things like that. When I checked the leaflet (the seminar's), ada dimasukkan "menghayati karya" in the list of things he was supposed to do. There was about 400 people attending this seminar, each required to pay RM100 (approximation). Kata lah kurang-kurang dia dapat RM10 per person. He walks home smiling with RM4000 kan? Aha, ni bukan fakta betul pun, I merely want to underline with a red pen what he did that was so unspeakable and made me stew in a murderous rage. Yes, I wanted to kill him.

Nak kata semangat berkobar-kobar, bukan. But I went there with my parents' money and believe it or not, I felt guilty, and still do. So saya datang itu untuk belajar, bukan buat kawan, bukan untuk senyum kepada orang lain. He walks in. First impression; Oh, er, sengau gile orang ni? But that is trivial stuff. Pen in hand, I waited for him to start. He launches into a joke. Fine, I gelak. And tick tock tick tock, SETENGAH JAM HABIS, and nothing worth writing about in my notebook! He was telling us anecdotes about his school and his students.. and in my head saya bermonolog.. Babi orang ni. What's this gotta do with Komsas?

Are you familiar with prosa tradisional Sabor? There's a part where stimulated Siti Saidah wanted to get it onnn with Sabor kan? Ada bahagian berahi. Well that made "Sabor" popular (preferable? Haha) compared to other karya in Kerusi kan? Prosa itu prosa tradisional. Bahasa digunakan bahasa klasik. Penceramah nombor dua told his own version of the prosa, dengan mimik muka yang tah pape complete with the acting, bahasa yang tah pape (a modern, tak senonoh version if you will). Yeah, he told the whole of Sabor in his own words, drawing out the part where Siti Saidah hugged and kissed Sabor. Oh yeah, my favourite part, Jibor kan orang tua, Siti Saidah a young wife. Orang tua kan susah untuk.. you know? What he said about this was, "Jibor makan satu pil, belum tegang lagi. Dia makan dua pil, takde ape-ape jadi. Dia telan satu botol, wow!" This coming from a teacher? DIE. DIE DIE DIE.

Vulgar, dirty jokes. Crude languange. Crude behaviour. Aku benci kau penceramah. There's also this part where Siti Saidah tengah fitnah Sabor kt Jibor. She said Sabor tried to molest her when she was going to the toilet kan? The penceramah ada cakap, "Perempuan kencing shsshh". What the fuck man, what the fuck, ko ni nak mati ke? But everywhere around me people were howling with laughter, people were delighted with his jokes. I was in a murderous rage (as I said) and sad as well. Is this the kind of behaviour we should expect from a teacher? A Muslim, a Malay, a Malaysian? Where is his proper conduct? A teacher for God's sake! Perangai dia sama la macam a stranger coming up to you and telling you dirty jokes. Normal reaction to this stranger; Gi mati lah orang gila!

If he were the same age as us, lain. Lain sangat. If he made those vulgar jokes when he's 17 and we're all 17, it would be acceptable. It won't be right, but acceptable (different days different style of joking la kan?). Double standards? No. He is a grown man, a teacher. A teacher. Lain la kalau dia nak buat lawak dengan kawan-kawan dia. That would be acceptable too. Ini cakap macam tu dengan students of the fairer sex dan juga male students macam tu, what the fuck? When people were howling with laughter, I felt like saying, "Korang nak kena lastik ke? Lagi gelak, lagi dia suka, lagi dia buat lawak, lagi tak belajar tau tak?!" I even imagined different scenarios in my head.. My favourite is me going up to his table, slamming my beg on his table, and saying loudly, "Can you please stop this sexual harrassment?!!!!" Aha. :-)

Yes, what he did is akin to a boss making sexual remarks to his female worker. Can be charged under sexual harrassment. And there's nothing new that I got from that Komsas lecture, nothing new except for the tajuk-tajuk penting yang belum keluar SPM. That took about 15 minutes and that took 15 minutes of recess period, sebab dia gi sibuk cite pasal Sabor tu.. Haih. Saya cukup benci. My mum cakap, dia datang, dengan unspoken amanah daripada our parents, paid with our parents' money, using up 2 precious hours from the 10 hours we paid for, untuk buat macam ni? Tak halal duit yang dia terima tu. Bukan ugutan. Who are me and my mum untuk cakap apa yang halal dengan apa yang haram kan? But we can reach no other conclusion. He wasted everyone's money. Saya benci dia. He has offended me greatly and I will never forget his sotong face. I hate yooooooooooooooouuuuu.

Any like-minded people interested in assasinating the guy, please contact me. I won't pay you but at least we'll both be satisfied.